New blog

I have one follower.

She should follow me at http://wallyb09.blogspot.com

She/anyone who sees this should tell their friends to follow me there too.

I'd appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Mitsubishi Semaj

Chemistry

I'm blogging in class again. chemistry class. I am not paying a bitju of attention. One thing I like to do is to take a school subject that makes no sense to me, and relate it to my life. In chemistry everything is built on attraction. Just like in real life dealing with people. When an atom has a stronger negative charge in comparison to the atom it is bonded to, it pulls more of the electrons towards it. That is how people drag others along. If a girl likes a guy and he kinda likes her, after a while she's gonna find out that she's not the only one but she won't be able to get away. The same goes for a situation where the guy and girl are reversed. I just thought it was interesting, Random blurb.

“We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.”

~Unknown

So I know I've said before that I've known what I do wrong and how to fix it, but as of right now I REALLY have reason to say that I know what I'm talking about and I'm determined to be what I need to be.

-Give what's needed

-No types/forms of bullshit get you anywhere. Don't sugarcoat it. If it needs to be said then SAY it.

-Sometimes what is wanted would be nice to have. So do what you have to do.

-Part of being grown is handling YOUR business. So go ahead and handle it.

-Of course you never lie/cheat/steal. But you also do NOTHING to make it look like you do.

-Open yourself up to them. If you're grown then you shouldn't have to worry about being hurt.

-Lastly, make it happy. Those things that make you happy initially will continue to make you happy. They may manifest themselves in different ways, but they will definitely still be there.

Trust in yourself and the other person. If you are established then there should be no problem sharing anything, or trusting that person to do what's right... ESPECIALLY if you have your guidelines straight.

-amor

Can't help It

No matter what I do... I can't seem to get things to go right.

I think I might have a handle once the smoke clears though.

I had a recent conversation with someone. I don't know him all that well, but I thank him for reaching out. He thinks I'm a really good dude and he gave me some advice that I won't live without.

As for now though...

I just want to dissappear...

Seeing Eye...

Everyone has heard the stories about Jay-Z and his apparent connection to some type of occult society. Thing is that this is definitely true and Jay and his associates have become more open about flaunting it as well as other people who have been under speculation.

This list includes Beyonce, Chris Brown, Rihanna, Diddy, Michael Jackson, Tupac, Prodigy(Mobb Deep), Rick Ross, Lil Wayne, Cam'ron, Jim Jones, Kanye West, Brittney Spears, Notorious B.I.G., Oprah, President Obama, George Bush, Bill Clinton, Frank Sinatra, 50 Cent, Busta Rhymes, LeBron James and so many more.

Some of these may come as a suprise, but there is usually evidence that would WOW the crowd. For instance, the different hand gestures such as i love you(sign language), A-okay, and the rocafella sign all have masonic value.

The I love you sign... (kinda like the wwf NWO wolfpack sign <masonic) was created by Hellen Keller who was a mason. This sign has come to be interpreted to mean 'I Love the Devil' to the masons.

The sign for A- okay which is made by creating a circle with the index finger and thumb and pointing the other three fingers up also has masonic/satanic value. If you take the three remaining fingers and add a circle to the bottom of them you come out with (666) which is the devil's code.

The Rocafella sign ( hands forming a diamond shape) is actually a triangle and is usually placed in front of one eye. This symbol is the all seeing eye which is also on the back of the $1 bill. This also suggests that some of our nation's presidents were freemasons.

All this stuff is pretty weird, but it definitely shines light on some things that were a little shaky before. The illuminati may have been responsible for the deaths of Michael Jackson, Tupac, and B.I.G. Watch the videos below and follow the link.

http://vigilantcitizen.com/?p=1948

Fairytales

I have always been a fan of Kanye West. I love all of his albums. 808s and heartbreaks was a little off track compared to what he had been doing before, but it was actually quite brilliant.

We all know Kanye is an asshole, but thats not what I like about him. His creativity in his music and fashion sense make me a fan. Recently he put a short film up on his blog site that was later removed, party because it was controversial and because of other reasons that were not disclosed. This film was directed by Spike Jonze who is an AMAZING director and works with a camera in a way that I admire alot. (And he's from the DMV.) He's directed things such as Jackass the Movie, Where the Wild Things Are, and countless music videos by artists such as the Beastie Boys, Sonic Youth, Notorious B.I.G., and Kanye West.

I think the combination of Jonze and West is pretty much brilliant. The film doesn't make too much sense at first and is something one has to actually think about to draw meaning from it. Its a great short, and Kanye also does a nice job of acting. I'll be waiting to hearthe reason Kanye pulled it from his blog site.

Mmm... food

I'm in my room right now hungry as all HELL.

I don't know what to eat. I want to go to the cafeteria but I don't feel like getting ready and then driving over there. I know there is no one to eat with right now. I just don't know what to do...

???

[edit] She made food and invited me over to eat it with her :-) [edit]

so I suck because...

I mess up more often than i know about.

I seem to mess up when I think I'm doing the best.

Working to change what you think of someone is hard to do, but it can be done.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Building trust in someone is hard, especially when you might have reason to not trust.

But when that reason is only a might, then building trust just requires you to be open.

If they mess up let them know.

If you mess up and don't know how, then just do better.

nothing...

The secretaries in the music office were out ALL day, so I couldn't find out how to get my sax fixed.

My brother and some friends were supposed to come down today. They bullshitted and then the weather got bad and now they're not coming.

I wanted to chill with ONE person today... even if it was just for an hour. I go to her house and she stays on the phone for an hour, and then a friends comes over to go to the gym so she kicks me out...

Nothing has gone my way...

Mediocre

It's that time a day, or night if you will.

The time that most people take to sleep...

The time that rids itself of the sun but brings the moon...

The time that brings forth a whole different set of feelings from the 'daytime'...

The time when most people are tired...

If you're still awake like me, this is the time of day for deeper reflection; more time to think about everything. This is usually time we spend in solitude for no particular reason at all other than its rude to be company at someone's house so late unless your circumstance allows for it or you can't help but be there.

This is the time of day where noises are brought to a lower level, and people listening to music pull out their headphones.

As I lay on my bed listening to music through my headphones, I;m thinking of one word in particular.

MEDIOCRITY

Now if you were to go to someone and tell them that you were MEDIOCRE would quickly try and change your mind, but in reality this rarely ever works. It's not always about what people think about YOU, but what you think of yourself.

I can't get away from the fact that I see myself is MEDIOCRE in areas all across the board.

I see my myself as MEDIOCRE in areas of creativity, musical talent, athleticism, academics, looks, self-esteem, self-expression. Some of these things I do better than others, but most of them I feel like I'm just floating around average.

I want to get better. I want to be a better student, a better musician, a better lover, a better ME.

They say that no one knows whats best for you but YOU, so when I find out how to make myself the best I can then I will surely act upon it.

~Maybe tomorrow. peace

I've been trying to find new music to listen to all afternoon. One thing I came across is this.

http://limelinx.com/files/238904c835be2277c7f8e5b10ec07c39

This is a track by J. Holiday called Brand New First thing he talks about is rappers trying to sing, and the song is done of a Drake beat. So WHO is he taking shots at? Truthfully... everything he says in the song is dead on, but I'm pretty sure he's gonna get FRIED because of what he said just because of who Drake is. he also takes shots at people who use autotune (T-Pain, Kanye, Diddy etc.) but this song is DEFINITELY directed at Drake

Mid-Day Listening

I've been trying to find new music to listen to all afternoon.

One thing I came across is this.
http://ping.fm/41ivL

This is a track by J. Holiday called Brand New

First thing he talks about is rappers trying to sing, and the song is done of a Drake beat. So WHO is he taking shots at?

Truthfully... everything he says in the song is dead on, but I'm pretty sure he's gonna get FRIED because of what he said just because of who Drake is. he also takes shots at people who use autotune (T-Pain, Kanye, Diddy etc.) but this song is DEFINITELY directed at Drake.

Its Getting Cold

So... Its getting cold outside now.

Today's high was like 58 degrees and I wore a sweater I haven't worn since like march.

This time of year brings back SO many nice memories. These memories always come up when I mix the feeling of the season with the music I listen to.

I love the fall

Random?? Completely...

I hate physical science 101

I need to take a shower

I'm hungry as always

My man Barack won a Nobel Peace Prize

Someone just sent me a txt.. It was my bud Jo

My girl is working on a entymology project... We were pinning down dead bugs

I'm broke and don't have much food

My backpack doesn't open much when I'm not in class

When I'm in class I watch youtube videos on my phone

I need to get some new clothes forreal. I feel like I'm not fresh AT ALL anymore.

I REALLY need to take a shower so I will update later :)

The Stupid Things

The song that describes what I'm going thru right now...

The Stupid Things - Robin Thicke

"All the stupid things I do have absolutely no reflection on how I feel about you..."

I feel like I'm bout to hurt BIG TIME this weekend.

She's goin "home" this weekend... Home meaning back to where her friend is going which just so happens to be where I live.

Only thing is that she said she's going to chill with this guy while she's there. A guy who she had a thing with not that far in the past and has been trying to get at her for a whole year. I'm definitely not that comfortable with it. Especially since it seems like she doesn't wanna really be around me like that anymore...

I'm scared... I would usually trust her with this kinda thing, but the way things have been going lately tell me I'd better watch it.

:-(

today

Today I saw her... unexpectedly.

She was ready to walk past me like she barely knew me...

And it hurt pretty bad.

Dream

I remembered a dream from last night.

A bunch of random stuff happened, but there was one main thing that stuck out.

SHE was in it, and I came back home and she was sleeping in my bed. I go to talk to her but she's acting just like she has been for the last few days.

I think this whole situation is taking a lil bit of a toll on me.

Its okay though, because if this is what I'm going to have to to then I will do it...

Hasta Luego

'Chopped'

I'm not gonna get chopped. Its just not gonna happen. I'm going to do what I need to do in order to NOT get chopped. She'll thank me in the end.

I heard this Jackson 5 song the other day called 'I Am Love' and its amazing.

Right now, I am listening to Maxwell's Unplugged album and it is PRETTY great.

I've also been listening to alot of jazz lately to help improve my playing. Alot of big band stuff. Paying attention to style really helps a jazz player improve BIG TIME.

I'm committed to do right, so do right I will. To the best of my ability

Tough

Its tough...

Tough to deal with sometimes. I know I have my flaws. I tend to have in my mind, subconsciously sometimes, that if I don't see something as a problem than its not one. That's only SOMETIMES, but it has happened before.

Something else is tough. I know way more about this girl than she thinks I do. I know how she somehow hates me. And how whenever she says she's mad and then says its cool, she really just bottles up all that anger. How she's thought about doing things to damage our relationship, and how she just won't talk to me because she's selfish sometimes.

But, if I call her out on it, she'll never admit to it. Even though I have hard evidence of all these things. We can clear things up. She just needs to listen to me.

Red Hot

I don't get mad often.

When I do get mad no one really sees it.

So the one day I blow up about all the bullshit that's been going on lately, someone will be hurt.

Yeah... I Gotta Go Pee

So... I have to pee pretty bad, and its almost time to go to class.

My musical selection for the moment includes Adele, James Morrison, this one song (I Am Love) by the Jackson 5 and alot of old jazz (Coltrane, Brubeck, Stan Getz etc... )

As for my last post, I don't understand and don't think I will for a very long time.

She was mad at me yesterday because I told her there were strippers at the bday party for my cousin over the weekend. If possible, I would leave the room, but if not I was sitting in a chair playing uno on my phone because I genuinely was no interested. But I guess I'm guilty by association... I was in the room so I MUST have done something bad... something that would make her not want me to touch her at all... something that made her kick me out her house this morning... which never happens. Always hiding thigns from me, and always lying to me and telling me things are okay. When this blown up and she finds out im completely innocent of whatever im being accused of, someone might feel pretty bad about themselves.

I need to study more... my chemistry grade is SHIT and I know it. If I just read the text in my Jazz Theory class and do my projects in Video Field Production I'll end up with good grades. Lets see how it goes then.

Off to my jazz theory class now. Just more time for me to dwell on life...

Later...

Is there really THAT thin of a line?

I'm updating from the computer of someone very special to me. Turns out she hates me, and lies about it all the time.

I do everything in my power to keep myself strong... To make sure I'm the one to come to lean on. I keep my insecurities and weakness out of the forefront. I don't hide them but I make sure they are NEVER the center of attention. I do no wrong and I will challenge anyone who says I do. Anyone who knows who I am knows a few things. They know that I like music and that when it comes to my girl, I'd do ANYTHING in the world just to make her happy.

I try my best to be a REAL man..

She thinks I'm dumb. She thinks I go around and do things that would affect our relationship in a negative way. She thinks I lie to her all the time. She doesn't believe that I mean what I say when I tell her she's beautiful and that I would have NO other. She thinks I cheat on her. She thinks she's not good enough. She doesn't know why I'm nice to her... but then turns around and tells me I'm mean when I know DAMN well that I'm not.

After all this.. someone who does at least ONE of these things would have blown UP and got SO angry by now. I haven't lost my cool ONE time.

I'm completely enveloped with someone... Who hates me.

Someone who thinks I have feelings for people I was involved with in the past and people I know now. Someone who tells me I lie about my past.. when I'm really jest telling her I realized what I was really feeling.

What else is there to do you ask?

I stick it out, because I know she will one day realize that she's not right about everything.

So as I sit her with wet dreads that she was supposed to help me twist an hour or so ago... wondering where she could be right now, I'm all alone. In her room representative of her own world.. that she lives in... I just wish she would open her door and walk through, so she could join me...

Forgot Your Charger ?? Naw Its BROKEN

So......

I've been sitting in this computer lab for about 15 mins and decide to check up on my blog and I realize.. I haven't updated this shit since like aforever ago. Then I look at a blog of one of my friends' and its like all interesting and stuff. So that's what I want this to be like.

Since then.. I've gone to New York and spent my life away, and saw some amazing things, I got a new phone that has tought me to never trust ebay again, I've been in a fashion show and I've played like 5 gigs.

New York will get a separate post sometime.

This is my phone

Ive had it for a month... and the spring loaded slide is broken.. so now the slide part is all soggy. lmao

My upgrade comes at the end of May, but I don;t really see anything on Verizon worth buying at the moment. I will wait and see :-)

My computer has been off for like 5 days now because the charger decides it doesn't wanna work anymore. So I'm off to find a new one at an affordable price.

I recently discovered that I LOVE Solange's music and she's so much better than Beyonce. YAY ARTISTRY !

I want to intern with a radio station. Apparently I have the voice for radio and I'm and good writer for news pieces and radio ads. We will see how that goes.

Right now.. Its 5 minutes before audio production class. I shall proceed to the classroom now and update LATER.

BROOKLYN

So, My blog has been a TAD bit DRY as of late... I don''t know why.

I'm in New York right now having a lil fun on spring break and I will update when I get back home.

Leavin' wit a throwback

Ouch Charlie... That Really hurts!!

Ay its Wally B in the place to be !!... yeah I'm gonna stop...

So I am THAT much closer to having my computer the way I need it... I just need a reliable recording program, a mic stand and a pop stopper... Been crankin out a beat or two here and there, playin around wit stuff. Soon enough I will get some stuff out there. I'm excited :-)

Anyway... The other day for Audio Production I did a Public Service Announcment and apparently it was pretty good. My professor told me I should do voice over work.. lls. I never knew I had it.

I just got word that JORDAN is coming out with a package that features teams that he scored more than 60 on. lls.. the first shoe is the 'ORLANDO MAGIC' Retro 7.. and i cant wait for it...

The Black/Carolina Blue 12s are coming back soon too. I missed them the first time they came out 6 years ago... but this time ITS ON!! .. lls


WELL... time to go get my news reporter on... YAH!

Ms. P-H-I-L-L-Y Can We Try to Do This...

Okay, so I'm sittin in the computer lab in between classes, listening to 'Ms. Philadelphia' by Musiq Soulchild.

I have come to the conclusion that people fake on him BIG TIME. It's crazy how his album 'luvanmusiq' barely went gold... Damn shame.

Any way its about time to get up, but I found this video quite hilarious.



Off to Audio Production...

Heatwave

Okay..... SO I just downloaded a free sampler on itunes. It is 10 songs and it was released because this is Motown's 50th anni. And I must say it is the SHIT.
Its has "Heatwave" by Martha Reeves, "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5, and "My Girl" by the Temptations among others.
What is the first thing I do you ask.....? I went to 911tabs.com and started looking up guitar chords... I swear that guitar is taking me over and I DON'T mind at all.


So This past saturday was Valentines Day and it was like my first good one ever. The whole weekend was QUITE fun. I finally saw 'Tropic Thunder' which is nothing short of HILARIOUS and everyone should go see it. Robert Downey Jr. is definitely one of the best actors out there for playing a black man and actually pulling it off.

A few of my friends decided to have a get together for Valentines Day with food and everything. It was gonna be the whole A.S.A.[African Student Association] and other various members of the African community.... and me :-). I've been a member of this group because I agreed to help out with a function last semester and just stayed cuz I was always around anyway. SO I fit right in... kinda.






Quite a fun day... I took this from it.
I see ALOT of people talking about how Valentines Day is a WACK holiday because they don't have someone to spend it with. Sure its supposed to be the day you spend with ur other and be all lovey dovey and all that shit and let them know how much you care about them... But why not let them know EVERYDAY. If we do that then Valentines DAy can turn into a celebration just liek it was in the pictures above. Out all the people in those pictures only one had someone to spend Valentines Day with, but ALL of them are as happy as can be.

So, if Valentines Day if that day you 'hate'... the day you wear all black on... The day you say is just another one... Just think of all the good friendships you might have, because maybe they need some love too :-)





Happy Valentine's Day!

When the Ice Melts So Right, You Got a Sparkle

So how about some good music.... old and new ??

Sounds good to me.


Brand New Jones by Thicke

The best song off the first album... It'll put you in a good mood for the most part even though its about moving past a girl. lls

Ms. Harmony by Robin Thicke

Mature Robin Thicke. Real smoooooooth and mellow. Good song for the ultimate chill mode. Lemonade and sandals in a hammock.

I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

Real happy tune. Someone put me on to listening to this guy and this song reminds me of her ALOT. And I love it :-)

More later.... into the studio i go for now.

The Four Sides of Destruction

Sorry if this is becoming a sad ass boo-hoo ruin your day type of blog... But that's just whats been goin on lately... It all has to do with how I'm Waiting for My Rocket to Come.

Anyway... from the last post... things were cleared up completely... and life was better than ever. now let me tell you about the Four Sides of Destruction... aka the Honesty Box. Now the Honesty Box is an application on some blog sites that allows people to post what they thinks about you, but to do it annonomously. Of course there will be some who abuse this application and decided to post LIES is peoples' Honesty Box.

Two days ago, i noticed a certain someone was MISSING from this site I usually go to. Her profile was completely gone and every single picture of her, and me with her was gone. The next day, after waiting for to contact me, becuase she had cutt herself off completely from everyone, I got thru to her via instant message and the first thing she typed was this obnoxious passage that talked about my "spots" and the end of the passage read "still yours ?" So at first I was VERY confused about what she was getting at.... Then she typed the message in again line by line... and told me that someone knows an awful lot about where my 'spots' are... even though the 'spots' mentioned were general 'spots' that alot of people have.

That was the last I heard from her...

What a nail in the FUCKING tire. The bad in this situation can be boiled down to three main points...

1. The whole Honesty Box thing had happened before... Someone did it over the summer time and this happened. We eventually esablished that it had nothing to do with me because it didn't. This is the second time around and again, I have NO idea who wrote this. I don't know if things are gonna quite go the same way.
2. I have NO control over what happens. Although I maked it a priority to be the best guy ever, I have these problems come up. It sucks that all I can do is sit... and wait... until she's ready to talk to me... She has to believe that I have done/ am not doing ANYTHING to make anyone say the things they said. I could never do that to her...
3. Everyone else seems to believe me because they KNOW I wouldn't do anything to make this situation come up. I know she knows too... but she's shielded by anger something serious right now... I just hope things don't go the wrong way.

All I can do is wait... Which is the WORST feeling in the world right now. I have faith... that someone I am connected to as deep as I am will see the thruth very soon. But we've taken SO many blows that I'm not sure if that will happen anytime soon.

People that know me and her together know that I wouldn't do this/wish this upon ANYONE. Whoever is responsible must REALLY hate me or her, or must be REALLY jealous. The last time it happened we never found out who it was, so it was likely to happen again. And as for whoever did it...I'm not completely broken... because I don't break... so if u must try, leave HER out of it.

I'm hurting... I'm not numb at all... so every little bit hurts... from the disactivating of that account on that website, to not being able to talk AT ALL for the rest of the day and the next day after that... to the message, to the fact that I have NO clue who it is/could be, to the fact that she might believe this random ignorant piece of shit of a person, to the fact that I am seeing my most important relationship here on earth crumble right in front my eyes...

All because of the Honesty Box.


So today... I sit and wait... and wait... and wait. For My Rocket to Come of course... Just me and my ipod... my guitar and a backpack. I need to leave this horrible place and go back to the real world where I'm happy like im supposed to be.