So I know I've said before that I've known what I do wrong and how to fix it, but as of right now I REALLY have reason to say that I know what I'm talking about and I'm determined to be what I need to be.

-Give what's needed

-No types/forms of bullshit get you anywhere. Don't sugarcoat it. If it needs to be said then SAY it.

-Sometimes what is wanted would be nice to have. So do what you have to do.

-Part of being grown is handling YOUR business. So go ahead and handle it.

-Of course you never lie/cheat/steal. But you also do NOTHING to make it look like you do.

-Open yourself up to them. If you're grown then you shouldn't have to worry about being hurt.

-Lastly, make it happy. Those things that make you happy initially will continue to make you happy. They may manifest themselves in different ways, but they will definitely still be there.

Trust in yourself and the other person. If you are established then there should be no problem sharing anything, or trusting that person to do what's right... ESPECIALLY if you have your guidelines straight.

-amor

Is there really THAT thin of a line?

I'm updating from the computer of someone very special to me. Turns out she hates me, and lies about it all the time.

I do everything in my power to keep myself strong... To make sure I'm the one to come to lean on. I keep my insecurities and weakness out of the forefront. I don't hide them but I make sure they are NEVER the center of attention. I do no wrong and I will challenge anyone who says I do. Anyone who knows who I am knows a few things. They know that I like music and that when it comes to my girl, I'd do ANYTHING in the world just to make her happy.

I try my best to be a REAL man..

She thinks I'm dumb. She thinks I go around and do things that would affect our relationship in a negative way. She thinks I lie to her all the time. She doesn't believe that I mean what I say when I tell her she's beautiful and that I would have NO other. She thinks I cheat on her. She thinks she's not good enough. She doesn't know why I'm nice to her... but then turns around and tells me I'm mean when I know DAMN well that I'm not.

After all this.. someone who does at least ONE of these things would have blown UP and got SO angry by now. I haven't lost my cool ONE time.

I'm completely enveloped with someone... Who hates me.

Someone who thinks I have feelings for people I was involved with in the past and people I know now. Someone who tells me I lie about my past.. when I'm really jest telling her I realized what I was really feeling.

What else is there to do you ask?

I stick it out, because I know she will one day realize that she's not right about everything.

So as I sit her with wet dreads that she was supposed to help me twist an hour or so ago... wondering where she could be right now, I'm all alone. In her room representative of her own world.. that she lives in... I just wish she would open her door and walk through, so she could join me...